It is essential that every parent develops good communication skills. Dealing with a teenager can turn out to be a frustrating experience, especially for first-time parents. Good communication with your teen will ensure boundaries you set are respected; discipline is maintained, and a good relationship developed between the two parties.
Whenever the subject of the teen-adult talk is brought forth, most parents will admit talking to your teen can turn your home into a battleground in a matter of minutes! At times, adults tend to be at fault when attempting to communicate with their teenagers. Here are some of the mistakes adults fail to realize when engaging with their teenager.
• Unnecessary Fights – Adults tend to pick fights with their teenagers over small matters that do not call for a fight. As a matter of fact, all acknowledge that there are matters where adults are allowed to exert maximum authority over their teenagers regardless of how far the conflict will go to. When dealing with teenagers, some issues are non-negotiable in life, however, adults need to resolve to negotiate with their teenagers whenever small issues arise. This move will greatly reduce the levels of stress and conflict between the two parties.
• Lecturing Them – Adults have developed a behavior of lecturing their teens whenever they are settling matters of conflict. Instead of engaging their teenager in a discussion, they tend to focus more on topics they feel carry more weight and warrant more attention at that particular moment. Normally, teenagers do not get the chance to express themselves when this kind of tactic is employed. Adults using this tactic may end up feeling like the teenager is not communicating with them while the teenager feels like they are not being given an opportunity to express their side of the story. Doing this leaves both parties feelings frustrated by the turn of events. Having a discussion with your teenager rather than issuing a lecture will lead to them opening up and providing useful information when they feel like they are being listened to without judgment.
• Negative Attitude – Adults who have a negative instruction approach towards their teens rather than a positive instruction approach tend to bring up rebellious teenagers. The very same outcome they have been trying to avoid will materialize. What you say will shape your teenager. You will easily damage your teenager’s self-esteem if you keep criticizing them and directing negative instructions at them constantly. Instead, be more willing to offer positive instructions and compliments that they will be more willing to listen to and follow.
These are just a few mistakes many parents make and by avoiding them, it gets easier to talk to your teenager.