When it’s time for you to get back on that dating horse, it can be a little intimidating when you have a child at home. Depending on the relationship you currently have with the little one’s father, it may be quite a convoluted mess. Having a kid may make dating a bit more difficult. After all, a lot of guys out there don’t want to be a part of an “instant family.” However, there are a lot that are capable of accepting you as well as your child as a whole unit.
Don’t Hide the Child
You should never hide the fact that you have a child at home. While this may scare away some potential mates, it’s better to weed out the ones that would break your heart later because they can’t handle the situation. Never believe your child to be a complication when trying to date. On the contrary, he or she is helping you eliminate the ones that are too immature to be of any real potential.
Don’t Bring Home Dates
Until you’re secure in a relationship with someone, you don’t want to bring home someone you’re dating. In fact, it should be several dates down the road before even introducing the kid to the prospective mate. You want to be able to approach your child during the process and ease them into the idea of seeing someone. Reassurance that the person is “not daddy” can help reduce any confusion. Of course, this will also depend on the age and maturity of your child. Most teens may not have as much of a problem with the situation as a toddler would have on an intellectual level.
Be Upfront About Expectations
When on your first date, be upfront with what you expect in terms of parenting. Let him know that you’re not looking for a replacement father, but the child is part of the package deal. The kid is an important part of your life, and your date needs to know this from the beginning. You should expect the same respect from a potential mate for the child as he would have for you.
Dating can be quite scary, especially if you’re coming off of an extended relationship. While it might take longer to find someone worthwhile, being honest with your situation will be better for everyone involved. Just keep in mind that there are plenty of guys out there that don’t have a problem accepting you and the child as a whole.