When you’re a single mom reentering the dating world, a lot of uncertainties can come up. Even if you find a great guy to go steady with, issues such as sleeping over, group vacations, and other things can throw you for a loop. These dating do’s and don’ts will help you navigate the murky waters of your romantic life.
Do Set Your Own Rules
There are a lot of random people with strong opinions about the dating habits of single mothers who will not be shy in sharing them with you. The important thing to remember is that no matter what these people think, you are an adult, and ultimately you make your own rules. There is no reason that you, as a single mother, cannot date- either seriously or casually- go out on the weekends, or have sex if those are the things that you want to do. Don’t let other people’s ideas about motherhood box you in.
Don’t Introduce Everyone You Date
The new guy who’s taking you out to the movies this evening doesn’t necessarily need to meet your children just yet. For everyone involved, it’s generally better to wait to make these introductions until the relationship is relatively solid and has some amount of stability to it. You don’t have to keep him a secret until you get engaged, but you also don’t need to parade every guy you casually date in front of your kids. Make sure that you have a reliable babysitter lined up so that you don’t end up introducing your kids to your date before you’re ready.
Do Tell the Truth
You’ve certainly told your little ones at one time or another that honesty is the best policy, and that’s advice that Mommy should follow as well. You are an adult, so if you think things like having extramarital sex are ok, then go ahead! However, if that’s the case, don’t lie to your kids about it if they ask you. Use it as an opportunity for a heart to heart. No matter what you’re doing or not doing, behave how you would want your children to act as adults.
Don’t Make Your Date Be Daddy
In the early stages of a new relationship, your partner should not be taking on major parenting roles for your children. He may be willing, and it may seem very tempting to lean on your new beau as a parenting helper, but hold back until the relationship matures to the point that those things just feel natural to both of you.