Havoc comes with the aftermath of a divorce in regards to your family’s life, especially for the kids. And it can be a challenge to move on afterward. It is a time to be careful, cautious and gentle with the kids.
A divorce can take a substantial amount of your energy and emotions, and will your children’s too. One day they have a dad, a mom, a home and life is good then the next time, they see that relationship fall apart. They have insecurities and so do you. This is even more so when it comes to dating and starting up a new relationship.
Be Empathetic and Sensitive
How old your kids are will be a large part in determining how you handle talking to them about your beginning to date again. What kind of rapport do you have and how close you are with them. The conversation is going to be tricky. It could go easy and they are very accepting and understand or they may argue and hateful about it.
Children are more in tune with your energy and emotions than you may realize. When it comes to mom dating after the divorce, honesty and openness are best. Explain to them that you too have been going through a healing process and now you feel ready to make friends again. Reassure them that nobody will ever replace them in your life and you’ll always be there for them.
Be Choosey With Who You Bring Home
Your children do not need to be introduced to every man you date. Simply let them know that you are going out with a friend and nothing more. Once a friend becomes a more serious relationship, then you’ll want to introduce them.
Take the time to talk to your children about this man and sound them out on meeting him. How you handle this will set the tone for how the relationship goes forward. Don’t just surprise them with a visit. Start out with short visits and build up the time all of you spend together. Watch the interactions and when he’s gone, talk to them about him and how they feel. Never let your children feel like he is replacing their dad.