The divorce if final and you’re moving right along with your life. Now that you have the kids, your job, and the basic household duties all running like a clock, it is time to find Mr. Right and start dating. This can be an intimidating, scary thing, but we have 8 tips that can make it easier for you, the kids and him.
1). Don’t expect the new guy to make up for whatever shortcomings your ex had. He’s his own person, just like you.
2). Flexibility is the key to successful dating. There is no perfect situation, and if you have to cancel a date because of one of your kids, he’ll understand. And if he’s not, well that tells you a lot about him right there.
3). Do not assess his abilities as a parent right from the start. You’re dating again for fun, not for matchmaking. As long as you know that your child is being taken care of, and you are taking precautions as to who to bring into their lives, don’t interrogate the guy about parenting on your first date.
4). Don’t force the new guy in your life on your kids. If they aren’t interested right away, don’t take it personally. Kids need space to absorb this and figure it out.
5). Your kids are going to like their daddy better – accept that and don’t fight it. No matter what you think of him, he is still their dad, and it is only natural for a child to love their dad. Again, give the kids space to adapt and adjust.
6). There is no reason to feel guilty about getting on with your life and dating again. Yes, you are a mom, but you are human too, and you still need that companionship that comes with having a mate.
7). Don’t try to be the single parent all alone. To get started dating again, you need to reach out through your social network of family and friends and let them know that you are ready to jump in that dating game again. The people you trust the most can be a great help in navigating the waters from being a single mom to a single mom that is dating.
8). Don’t talk about your ex while on a date! This is a good rule that can apply to your talking to you kids or while on a date. Avoid badmouthing him. This is still your child’s parent and co-parenting is necessary to keep things in good harmony.